It amazes me—the markedly visible changes in the natural world that can take place in just a short week. I am back home, back from a week of helping and caring for my elderly parents down in Florida after the hurricane that had affected that beautiful State. Now back to my little world of wonders that has already changed so much in a wink of a week… from the maturity of a tired summer, to a mellow, quieted early autumn. And the garden is already a field of leaves, and there’s a noticeable change in the atmosphere of the woods, in the shadows that linger throughout the house and the shaft of light that kisses the world outside our little white cottage at 3:30pm.
It is a desolate, melancholic feeling and the usual mood of autumn. More so, because I have brought home with me from Florida a heart that’s been saddened by the afflictions of Alzheimer that’s affecting my beautiful mother as she struggles through life, and how she has so drastically declined in only a short month since I saw her last, this past August. Feelings of abandonment, and finitude have already taken possession of this little heart of mine, that it is already mourning. And I find myself crying throughout the day, searching for answers that I cannot find, coveting moments past, a childhood memory, wishing for a complete sentence from lips that always spoke only of the goodness in others. Eyes that can again search mines without getting lost in the shadows past them. One more cuddle mom, a walk on sturdy feet, one more meaningful embrace please mother come back to me. Please postpone that long trip and stay by me...
I have already started packing things up as we put our home for sale next week, and boxes are piling up. I am keeping only the necessary, only those things that are dear to my heart in a dispensable way. Had been giving things away, and donating hundred more. I don’t want to take with me things I’m not using or know I won’t use any more. Taste changes, things change, the spirit changes. I’m not looking twice at those things I’m giving away. I’m just letting others enjoy what I had once enjoyed. Without a care in me whatsoever I am freeing my soul of clutter as I declutter our house too. Not looking back. Not desiring what I once had coveted. Life is short. One must treasure only the present.
I hope you all are doing fine. Hope life gives you the best, the prettiest, the dear close to you, to hold and cherish and appreciate them. Please don’t forget to let those you love know how much you value them. Treasure each moment spent with them and forgive and forget that what is not rooted on love.
Peace be with you